The Nug Juggling Nurse

Went back to the Doctors yesterday for a follow up physical for my CDOT medical card. Still haven’t figured out why I need one, I’m the superintendent over Southern Colorado and spend most of my days in an office not on any heavy equipment. The Doctor goes through her typical checks and tells me my blood pressure was just barely good to enough to pass the CDOT standard. She leaves the office and a few minutes later returns.

She tells me she forgot to check for a hernia. She asked me to drop my pants which I did, figuring that’s all she needs. She grabs a chair and scoots up to me crotch level like a catcher getting ready for some fast balls 🙂. She than asked me to slightly lower my underwear, which I did. Just enough to show my pubic region but not enough for an R rating. She lowered them more and it popped out like a jack in the box, almost hitting her bottom lip.

As she’s batting it around she stops and asked me if I needed a “health buddy”, I thought she said “battle buddy”, I told her it was a little late for that. I’m trying not to look down out of fear of locking eyes with her as she’s performing her juggling act. When they asked for my co-pay I should have told them it was in the Doctors hand.

After she finishes I go back to work and ask my guys when they went through their CDOT physical did they need a hernia check. All except one said they didn’t and the one who said he did told me the Doctor only asked if he had a hernia. None of them had their nuts juggled. When I got home I told Nicole about my experience. She told me the person wasn’t a Doctor or PA but a Nurse Practitioner. I told Nicole I think she just wanted a look at my snack pack. This isn’t the first time I’ve had a Nurse make an excuse to get me to drop trou. The first time Nicole was present for the whole exam, an awkward moment that we still laugh at.