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  • Writer's pictureDorell Green

Old Age

Got dressed this morning and when I was tying my shoes I felt something was off. Than I remembered, I forgot to put on underwear. I was in such a rush while getting dressed, I forgot underwear. I was unintentionally freeballing.

I stood up and looked down, you clearly could tell I had no underwear on. I sat back down on the bed and debated on whether or not I wanted to waste the energy to put on underwear. Than I thought of Kevin Hart’s comedy and his dad walking around in sweats with no underwear. I didn’t want to be that guy with the dick print visible in his sweats, eating lunch with his family. On Thanksgiving day a few years ago I had a similar wardrobe issue with my mom.

For Thanksgiving we took my mom and dad to Golden Corral for dinner. This is my parents favorite place to eat, it must be an old person thing. During dinner my mom announces she's hot. We tell her we're almost done with dinner and will be going home soon. My mom looks at us and sneers "I'm hot" and begins taking off her shirt. Underneath she only had on a shear slip. Everything was out, everything. I told NIcole and the kids once grandma's titties came out, that was a wrap for dinner, lets go. The staff and patrons had a look of horror on their faces. Seeing some 82 year old, aged civil rights titties out in the open was not what they were expecting at Golden Corral on Thanksgiving day.

I didn't want to be the old guy with is privates visible embarrassing his kids during lunch. I still got a few more years before that happens. I already have the outfit picked out. A skin tight old school maroon Addidas sweat suit with the white stripe down the side and of course, no underwear.

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