Yesterday we watched Creed. Watching a movie on Thanksgiving is our tradition. This was a night full of characters. Sitting next to me was a guy who narrated the whole movie out loud, a women arguing with her child, “Fred Sanford” yelling at the screen, a person continuously clapping for no reason and multiple crying babies. My patience was tested. As I was driving home from this experience I saw something large and white in the middle of the road. It looked like a sheep. In Widefield I’ve seen Chickens, tweekers, junkyard dogs and hobos but never sheep. As I got closer I saw it was a very large dog that had no intention of moving out of the street. I swerved barely missing it. I got home and looked up in the night sky, trying to digest the strangeness of the night when I saw it, a full moon. For those who have worked as civil servants or in the medical field, you know how weird things get when a full moon is out.
I was working a swing shift the night of a full moon and was dispatched to a loud party. I didn’t like writing MIP’S and tried to work with kids before taking that step. But after the third call to this house I had no choice. Myself and two other officers arrive and start ordering kids out of the house. As I walked around the house, the back door swings open and kids are running out.
I chase the slowest in the pack. As I’m gaining the kid comes to a dead stop and sits on a bench. I run up to him and he says “Good evening officer, I believe the individuals you are looking for ran that way” making no eye contact with me he points down the street. Completely bewildered by this I say “kid are you drunk”, to which he replies “why yes...yes I am.” Made me laugh so hard I just drove him back to the dorms.
Right after that I’m dispatched to an apartment complex on a report of a naked man in the halls. I get there and go directly upstairs, without waiting for back up, my mistake. Standing in the hallway is a homeless man wearing a white tank top, an old school full motorcycle helmet and naked from the waist down. Behind him was a bike with no bicycle seat. I could only imagine what he was doing on that bike.
I draw my taser and beg this man not to fight. I even tell him that if he puts some pants on I’ll take him wherever he wants to go, but not with his pecker out. His visor was up and I could see in his eyes he was on something. I’m hoping my cover arrives soon. He begins moving towards me, disobeying my commands so I deploy my taser with no effect. He pulls the prongs out and yells “They call me rooster!!!” and charges closing his visor as if he’s a gladiator readying for battle.
Now I have some options, option 1 turn and run (I never run from a fight), option 2 try tasing him again (didn’t work the first time), option 3 go hands on. I chose option 3. Now we’re running full speed at each other, him yelling “call me rooster!” me yelling “put some damn pants on!” If this was a movie, the only thing missing would be a slow motion effect and white doves flying behind us. We collide and I’m immediately struck by how sweaty he is and by what I like to call homeless funk level 2. My cover arrives and jumps right into the struggle. As he squirms and we fall to the ground my only fear is that he would slide up and his nuts would drag across my face. Working during full moons was always interesting 🙂